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Most of
what we've discussed so far hasn't considered your kids' martial arts
training, and relies upon you as the adult to take command of the situation.
But what if your kids are black belts?
I think it depends on the level of training and mental toughness your kids have. If you're the dad of a 3rd grader, chances are you won't want her out there punching and kicking. But if you're the mom of two strapping high-school footballer boys, it makes sense for them to shield you with their mass and strength.
The differentiating factor is the mental edge of each fighter. Would the kids be able to assist in defending the family?
In group defense situations, it's probably best to rely upon your kids' training for individual escapes and self-defense measures at most. Knowing that your kid would know what to do if grabbed, and teaching them what to do after they effect their escape ("don't just stand there, run!") will give you peace of mind in a stressful situation. As your kids (and you) progress in their training, you can introduce more partner drills to practice fighting together.
Defensive combat training is a lot like learning cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) -- you hope that you'll never have to use it in a life-or-death situation, but if one occurs, you're very glad you know what to do. Even if you can't train for each and every situation, merely thinking about it beforehand, and setting up simple code phrases, can help your family get out of altercations before the fighting starts.